the intimacy of “i want to understand why you feel that way”

the quiet art of being understood

When someone says, “I want to understand why you feel that way,” it feels like they’re choosing to walk beside you rather than ahead of you. They’re not making your feelings a problem to solve; they’re making them a language to learn.

It’s rare, isn’t it, to find someone who cares enough to pause their world just to step into yours? Someone who truly wants to understand you, not just the words that come out, but the ones that get stuck halfway through. Someone who looks past the struggle in your voice, the way your hands move when your heart tries to speak faster than your mouth can keep up. Someone who listens, not to just reply, but to really hear what’s underneath: the silence, the sigh, the half-smile that hides everything else.

It’s strange how people still don’t understand that not every feeling needs fixing. Sometimes we don’t want advice. We don’t need someone to rush in with comfort or say, “It’ll be okay.” We just need someone to stay, to sit beside us and let us feel whatever we need to feel.

The kind of person who doesn’t flinch at your confusion or sadness. Who doesn’t look for the right words to make it disappear but stays long enough to understand where it’s coming from. Someone who doesn’t try to move you forward before you’re ready, but matches your pace until you can breathe again.

It makes me realize how starved we are for that kind of attention. The kind that doesn’t shrink away when you say, “I don’t know why I feel like this.” The kind that doesn’t treat your emotions like a burden, but like something real, something that deserves to exist.

Because sometimes, being understood means having someone who doesn’t run from your depth. Someone who doesn’t judge you for feeling the same thing again, or for not being “over it” yet. Someone who’s still there, still asking, still willing to listen even when the words sound familiar.

Someone who stays because they want to understand you, not just once, but every time. Someone whose presence quietly reminds you that your feelings don’t make you hard to love.

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Pri this side,

Whoever you are, I hope today has been kind to you!

If you’re reading this, thank you for sharing a small piece of time with me.

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